post paling emo

saat nih.. aku rase sangat2 pening.. urat kepale mcm timbul and aku harap sgt nih bukan migrain.. aku pun tak pernah plak tahu mcm mane rasenye migrain.. cume pernah org ckp pasal mcm nak pecah kepale.. haaaaa yerp.. sakit mcm dah nak explode aje ni... hurm.. tak suka mcm nih.. hati yang tak tenang buat aku rase mcm tak senang duduk aje..

saat nih jugak aku stress yang amat sampai aku rase there's no one yang boleh tolong aku except for Allah.. feeling so lonely cuz mcm takde pulak org yang nak faham ape yang sebenarnye aku alami.. no other ppl to be blame lah but of course myself.. i'm just too complicated.. and i just love to create such a complicated situation.. kepale skrang cepat benor menerawang ntah ke mane2..

-amaran..sila baca dgn nada sayu mcm org stress.. bukan nada marah k-

aku just nak org terime ape keputusan, pendapat aku and faham ape yang aku rase and alami.. dan aku jugak tak nak org mempengaruhi decision aku which i think is impossible lah sgt.. +___+".. aku just nak sume org happy~ and adekah dgn buat sume org happy dalam situasi skrang ni akan buat aku happy..??? is it fair enough for me??? i just don't know cuz aku pening skrang nih... T__T hmmm..  aku tak faham.. bile aku dah ckp betul2.. buat keputusan.. akan ade org yang ckp.. "you have to rethink about your decision.. take your time and blablabla..".. kan mas dah ckp.. i've made my decision final..

hmm... pernah tak ade yang tahu kalau aku trase bila diorang ckp tu ckp ni kat aku ade ke??? pernah tak.. bila aku kena marah aku melawan? dah sgt lame aku tak melawan.. especially ckp org2 tua..  pernah tak tahu.. bila kena marah tu sgt sakit hati?? ntah laaa... mungkin aku terlalu cepat nak berkecik hati... dan mungkin jugak aku kurang mengkaji soal perasaan org lain bila berhadapan dgn masalah aku... but the problem is... it's my problem and i'll try my very best to overcome it and i don't need ppl to keep on pushing me.. i don't need ppl to tell me to exactly do this and that.. and i definitely don't want another problem with you guys.. -___-" i just need ppl to be a good listener to me and give me words of wisdom..

sometimes.. aku rase.. even fmly sndiri couldn't be someone to rely on bcuz they might be the reason i'm crying all the time.. it might sounds too harsh.. but yeah.. that's what i feel.. right now.. saat ni jugak.. aku percaya ramai yang nak tolong aku tapi aku pun tak tahu camne da utk korang tolong aku.. aku just rase amat2 terharu dan sgt2 hepi to know that there's still ppl who cares.. i mean do really2 care about me..

All I'm asking and begged for now is for my own precious TIME for myself~ and I don't like being grounded cuz i'm not a little girl anymore .. -___-" tq for reading....

feel... what i feel?